Kody
Member
- Gender
- Male
You want a weapon that gets the job done? You want a weapon that's hassle free? You want a weapon that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 40h Yamigarasu.
Let's talk about features.
High ATP: nope
Fast Attack Speed: nope
Better than 40h Hell Raygun: nope... but its a giant purple katana and it breaks necks.
Let me tell you a story. One day I realized my 40h Yami was pretty bad. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the hit off this Yami, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in back of your bank, discard all of your other equips, and this puppy would fucking kill shit. Sometimes.
This Yami will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this Yami is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: Yes, but it cannot drive.
This Yami's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done fucking humiliated this bitch. People have ridiculed me for using this bitch. It's not going to judge you like a fucking DF'er would.
Interesting facts:
This Yami's exterior color is purple, but it's interior color is purple.
In the owner's manual, Special Attack Activation Rate is listed as "optional."
When this Yami was unveiled at the 2001 E3, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 2001 Yamigarasu"
You wanna know more? Great, I had my Yami fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This Yami is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the Min/Max calculations for this Yami, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a fuckin' 40h Yamigarsu. Use Hell Raygun you idiot."
Let's face the facts, this Yami isn't going to win any min/max contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the weapon you want, it's the weapon you deserve: The fucking forty hit Yamigarasu.
The 40h Yamigarasu.
Let's talk about features.
High ATP: nope
Fast Attack Speed: nope
Better than 40h Hell Raygun: nope... but its a giant purple katana and it breaks necks.
Let me tell you a story. One day I realized my 40h Yami was pretty bad. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the hit off this Yami, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in back of your bank, discard all of your other equips, and this puppy would fucking kill shit. Sometimes.
This Yami will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this Yami is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: Yes, but it cannot drive.
This Yami's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done fucking humiliated this bitch. People have ridiculed me for using this bitch. It's not going to judge you like a fucking DF'er would.
Interesting facts:
This Yami's exterior color is purple, but it's interior color is purple.
In the owner's manual, Special Attack Activation Rate is listed as "optional."
When this Yami was unveiled at the 2001 E3, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 2001 Yamigarasu"
You wanna know more? Great, I had my Yami fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This Yami is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the Min/Max calculations for this Yami, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a fuckin' 40h Yamigarsu. Use Hell Raygun you idiot."
Let's face the facts, this Yami isn't going to win any min/max contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the weapon you want, it's the weapon you deserve: The fucking forty hit Yamigarasu.
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