thegmk
Thegmk#5690
- Gender
- Male
- Guildcard
- 42000103
It's time for me to go.
I don't expect this to be something people respond to or even resonate with; I mostly want this as a piece of my history that I can reflect on in the future, should I find my way back to lurking these forums.
I have been here, quietly hunting since Ephinea's public launch 8 years ago. I love PSO so much and have loved it ever since I was 10 years old and found a copy of PSO ver2 for the Dreamcast in the BOGO bin at Toys R Us.
I've mostly played solo, because I struggle to open up to people and feel a bit nervous in groups. Yes, I'll play open games for MAE or TTFs, but I always had a hard time getting close to people online. In fact, in 2020 I made a whole new account, a new login, a new discord as a small, friendly RAcast named Bert, as a way to just present a lighthearted version of myself.
Bert was funny and kind and as gentle as I wanted to be received by others. I joined a guild and played for 2 months straight. I made friends along the way. But Bert wasn't fully me. Bert was a light and airy way to present myself, without my fears or my baggage. It's just a game and I wanted to play it with others, but I really wanted to be in a group where it was real friends and real conversations together. I was just too afraid of being so vulnerable.
In 2020, PSO ate into my real life and was affecting my relationships, specifically the one with my new, 1-year SO at the time. I was addicted to raising HBR and getting the best chances at gear, although it almost never actually paid off. I think the most I've ever auctioned something for was about 300 PDs. Depressive episodes in my real life would cause me to give away really good gear because "it would make someone so happy."
Even though I shelve this game for months at a time, I have always come back every summer for the Anniversary event for a chance at winning big and potentially finding a friend or two along the way, but this is the year I am calling it quits.
It's been a struggle to find work after I was laid off, constantly being sent emails of "we're not going to proceed with your application at this time." I'm scared to death because my SO and I have now been married almost a year and are halfway through our first pregnancy.
PSO is so much fun and I love the gamble, but it's allowing my depression and anxiety to take over and say "one more run, it'll only be 5 minutes... you can spend 5 more minutes in PSO."
But I can't. I am on seriously borrowed time here.
So that's why I have to auction off my gear, which I will be doing sometime soon. I need a reason to not come back. My gear is nothing amazing, since I've done so many account giveaways in the past, but it's something. I'll link any auctions I make here once they go live.
First Bank Auction: Common Weapons
www.pioneer2.net
I have loved so much about PSO.
This game is MY game in my heart.
It's how I met my closest friends I made after High School.
It's how I got my handle "The Great Mr. Kid" (Thegmk and TGMK for Smash Bros), a joke of a username given to me by a friend I met through PSO, but has since turned into my identity online.
I've never mastered anything in this game. I'm terrible at Challenge Mode, I can't time attack quests to save my life, and I don't even know which quests are best for farming my gear. But I do know that PSO is something I will hold near and dear to my heart for a very long time.
(I will still be around very scarcely on Classic mode, but I'm not going to be deeply interactive anymore. Hmu for Classic Challenge Mode some time.)
Cheers to you, Ephinea.
I have played PSO on every system, every private server, and Ephinea is home.
Cheers to the staff and developers that have continued to give quality of life to this 23-year-old game.
I have loved my time here.
I don't expect this to be something people respond to or even resonate with; I mostly want this as a piece of my history that I can reflect on in the future, should I find my way back to lurking these forums.
I have been here, quietly hunting since Ephinea's public launch 8 years ago. I love PSO so much and have loved it ever since I was 10 years old and found a copy of PSO ver2 for the Dreamcast in the BOGO bin at Toys R Us.
I've mostly played solo, because I struggle to open up to people and feel a bit nervous in groups. Yes, I'll play open games for MAE or TTFs, but I always had a hard time getting close to people online. In fact, in 2020 I made a whole new account, a new login, a new discord as a small, friendly RAcast named Bert, as a way to just present a lighthearted version of myself.
Bert was funny and kind and as gentle as I wanted to be received by others. I joined a guild and played for 2 months straight. I made friends along the way. But Bert wasn't fully me. Bert was a light and airy way to present myself, without my fears or my baggage. It's just a game and I wanted to play it with others, but I really wanted to be in a group where it was real friends and real conversations together. I was just too afraid of being so vulnerable.
In 2020, PSO ate into my real life and was affecting my relationships, specifically the one with my new, 1-year SO at the time. I was addicted to raising HBR and getting the best chances at gear, although it almost never actually paid off. I think the most I've ever auctioned something for was about 300 PDs. Depressive episodes in my real life would cause me to give away really good gear because "it would make someone so happy."
Even though I shelve this game for months at a time, I have always come back every summer for the Anniversary event for a chance at winning big and potentially finding a friend or two along the way, but this is the year I am calling it quits.
It's been a struggle to find work after I was laid off, constantly being sent emails of "we're not going to proceed with your application at this time." I'm scared to death because my SO and I have now been married almost a year and are halfway through our first pregnancy.
PSO is so much fun and I love the gamble, but it's allowing my depression and anxiety to take over and say "one more run, it'll only be 5 minutes... you can spend 5 more minutes in PSO."
But I can't. I am on seriously borrowed time here.
So that's why I have to auction off my gear, which I will be doing sometime soon. I need a reason to not come back. My gear is nothing amazing, since I've done so many account giveaways in the past, but it's something. I'll link any auctions I make here once they go live.
First Bank Auction: Common Weapons
<Trade Complete> A> My Common Weapons Bank [DONE]
Initial Bid: 1 PD Timer: 48 HR Bid Reset: 24 HR Auction End: Ryan - 10 PDs Saber [Hell] [0/0/0/0|60] Pallasch [Hell] [0/0/0/0|50] Gladius +3 [Charge] [35/0/40/0|50] Calibur +10 [Charge] [40/0/45/0|50] Calibur [Spirit] [0/50/0/50|30] Calibur +10 [Spirit] [40/0/0/0|50] Dagger [Blizzard]...
www.pioneer2.net
I have loved so much about PSO.
This game is MY game in my heart.
It's how I met my closest friends I made after High School.
It's how I got my handle "The Great Mr. Kid" (Thegmk and TGMK for Smash Bros), a joke of a username given to me by a friend I met through PSO, but has since turned into my identity online.
I've never mastered anything in this game. I'm terrible at Challenge Mode, I can't time attack quests to save my life, and I don't even know which quests are best for farming my gear. But I do know that PSO is something I will hold near and dear to my heart for a very long time.
(I will still be around very scarcely on Classic mode, but I'm not going to be deeply interactive anymore. Hmu for Classic Challenge Mode some time.)
Cheers to you, Ephinea.
I have played PSO on every system, every private server, and Ephinea is home.
Cheers to the staff and developers that have continued to give quality of life to this 23-year-old game.
I have loved my time here.
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